Etiquette and Holiday Entertaining
Prepare for the season with party etiquette tips.
By Brannon S. Dawkins Photo by Alan Barton
Chances are, with the holiday season upon us, you are either planning or attending a holiday party. If that holiday party includes a formal dinner, as a host or a guest it is important to brush up on fi ne-dining and party etiquette. Patricia Wehner, owner of Professional Etiquette in Today’s Casual World, provides tips to ensure an elegant holiday event.
An inspiring invitation
There are a variety of holiday invitations to choose from, including Evites. If you’re hosting a casual event, like an invitation to stop by for hot chocolate and cookies, an emailed invitation is acceptable.
But the traditional invitation is the better choice, especially for formal events.
“Traditional invitations are more appropriate and more fun to receive,” Wehner says.
Listing exactly who is invited is important, especially when it comes to inviting children. “If you want to include children, certainly put that on the invitation,” she says. But if you’re a guest and children’s names are not listed, the event is for adults.
Dietary and religious observations
If you’re hosting, be sure to check with guests ahead of time about dietary or medical restrictions and adjust the menu accordingly. If you’re a guest and the hostess hasn’t called, it is acceptable to call in advance and let the host or hostess know about particular food restrictions.
Hostess Gifts
“Always bring a gift when you are invited to someone’s home,” Wehner says. A box of chocolates, a book, a scented candle or a bottle of wine makes a wonderful hostess gift. Be sure to include a small card on the gift. If you bring the host or hostess a food item or bottle of wine, don’t expect them to use the gift that evening.
Flowers are nice too, Wehner says. But have them delivered the day before or day after the event. “Your hostess cannot stop greeting guests to fi nd a vase and put them in water.”
The party begins
“As the host or hostess, the basis of etiquette is making your guests comfortable,” Wehner says. Greet all guests individually at the front door.
“The attitude and demeanor of the host and hostess set the tone of the party. If they are stressed, the guests will know,” Wehner says. So smile, relax and enjoy. “If the host doesn’t have a good time, no one else will either.”
Sitting down to dinner
At dinner, always follow the lead of the host or hostess who should signal for everyone to be seated and begin eating, Wehner says. If you’re a guest and you sit down at a beautifully set table, remember B-M-W. The bread plate is to your left, your meal is in the center and your water and other beverages are to your right. “This is a good way to ensure you are not eating your neighbor’s roll or drinking your neighbor’s water.”
Also, always begin your meal with the silverware that is the furthest away from the plate. As each course is served, use the one closest to the plate. The dessert silverware is above the plate.
Ending on the right note
As the party comes to an end, the host or hostess should always see guests to the door and thank them for coming, Wehner says. As for guests, taking the time to write a short thank you note is crucial. “Your host and hostess have gone to a great expense to show you a good time. A thank you note lets them know you appreciate them.”
